This is a list my friend blogged recently, who struggles with anxiety and panic much like I do. I loved this list so much, I asked for her permission to post it myself.
1. You are good.
2. Your parents abandoned you. That’s ok. You will sometimes feel worthless and unacceptable because of the way they treated you before, but it’s not your fault. See #1.
3. You often feel invisible and/or unloved. You feel like no one understands you. They do, some of them, and you aren’t. People love you, and everything’s connected anyway. So get over yourself, please kindly, and see #1.
4. You are what you think. So think what you want to become. And think positively; things may go wrong, but they may go right. It’s more fun to think they’ll go right.
5. You will never live up to your harsh standards from pre aged-30. Get and maintain new, more loving and accepting self-perspective. You have everything you need now – it’s all in you, and always will be there, so recognize it. PS – no one else can live to your standards either. So be easy on everyone. How you treat yourself equals how you treat others.
6. Don’t withdraw from the difficult things. You need the experience, and you need to be open. You can’t connect to anyone without vulnerability. And you can’t stand to be lonely. So your life depends upon being open, relaxed, trusting, softened. You can do it.
7. You know yourself, so be that person. You know when you’re not real. Just be real. See #1.
8. When you feel yourself acting out an old pattern or story, recognize it and then do some activity you don’t typically do, to snap yourself out of it. It’ll be hard sometimes, but you can do it. It might even be fun. Don’t spin out. Gently shepherd yourself back to goodness if you do. No big deal!
9. Banish the ego in favor of compassion at all times. Defending the ego will always lead to pain. Always. Compassion feels way better. Connecting to others and yourself is such a good feeling.
10. Be curious and awake. Question everything, be always in a state of learning, never “sure” about anything.
11. Keep trying to live in the moment. You will get better at it as you practice.
12. Just let go. Let it all go. Don’t get so attached to things. Life is always changing and you will change with whatever happens. Since your perspective is up to you, you can get through anything, even death. So lighten up.
13. Thinking in terms of good vs. bad is usually not productive. There’s always a story behind everything that happens. Use everything to learn and open up.
14. Pay attention to the way you communicate, not just what you are saying. Remember that everyone is starting from a slightly different place. No matter how hard you try to be an effective communicator, you may sometimes not get through. That’s ok. See #8.
15. “Joy is not about pleasure as opposed to pain or cheerfulness as opposed to sadness. Joy includes everything.” – Pema Chodron