Earlier this year I was really struggling with the meaning of it all, and neurotic and afraid. My friend reached out to me and filled me full of wisdom. I saved everything he told me over email and IM. Here are some of his wise words that I found very helpful.
“I can see everyone as someone with their own unique pain and fears that steer their daily life, it’s so much easier to feel compassion for them. Every single one of us started as an innocent child, hoping and dreaming, and somehow we all get derailed by our conditioning from parents, family, friends, just the whole damaged world as it is.
Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. It’s letting go of completely heavy, unnecessary anger and emotion that does nothing but drag you down and anchor you in a negative state.”
“The job you have now is right where you’re supposed to be right now. Just tell yourself to look for open doors, and just let the universe know you’re open to whatever is next for you.”
“Isn’t it amazing, the power of “I love you”??? Since I started doing ho’oponopono, I’ve been so stricken by the thought of how long it’s been for a lot of people since they’ve had anyone say “I love you” to them. I see all the disenfranchised people, all the glum nevs on the bus or wherever, and when I direct it toward them, it just feels so rewarding somehow.”
“You’re practicing stuff that will naturally affect other people positively. It will be interesting over time to see how your example affects others. They will eventually see the changes in you and want it for themselves as well. But everyone gets there in their own time.”
“It will get easier as you get less afraid of what’s inside you, what rises to the surface when you go quiet and just let it. But it’s all just stuff inside you and it can’t hurt you. And if you let it pass through, it can leave you…but if you resist it, it will persist. That’s something huge for me to realize, and it’s a total cliche in self-help: What you resist, persists.”
“I no longer even say “I AM sad” or “I AM happy”…I only say “I FEEL sad” or “I FEEL happy” as a reminder to myself that I am not my feelings.”
“But all I’ve been learning from Guy Finley and everyone else I’m learning from is that you have to take care of your own needs and if people have a problem with it, it is THEIR issue and you cannot absorb it as your own. You can’t be responsible for how others react to your decisions. And maybe it will hurt their feelings or they’ll feel sad briefly, but all feelings are fleeting and they will get over it. You should feel thankful on that day, and for choosing to make yourself happy too.”
“Well I always try to project like a week into the future and think “Will I be glad I decided this, or will I feel regretful?” and usually my instinct is correct.”
“One of the best things you can do now is to take a second to just close your eyes, feel grateful, and thank the Universe for manifesting this in your life.”
“Try to work on forgiving yourself. That is incredibly freeing. I’ve always been so damn hard on myself, and I’m learning to give myself a break and not expecting that I should be further along, better at life, etc…where I am now is exactly where I’m supposed to be and that’s totally fine. But try to do some work just about forgiving yourself, giving yourself permission to love every mistake and fuck-up because you learned from them.”
“It’s past now, and nothing can change it. So you can look back now and sort of speak to that past You and love her for all her flaws. She didn’t know better and was just following her misguided thoughts, heart, emotions…but you gotta love her for that! You learned so much from her, even though she may look like a giant mess from here.
It IS someone else. It’s who you once were. Same with the you from yesterday. Every single day, every single second, you can simply decide to be different!”