I’ve been making comics about things I was told I did when I blacked out from drinking. The stories keep coming. I’ve drawn 35 stories so far.
The most amazing thing of writing out all these blackout stories I’ve been told is, how I blamed my problems on everything BUT my drinking, back in the day. Failed relationships…putting up with poor treatment from ‘friends’ and ‘lovers’…dishonestly with myself and with my S.O.s…seething resentments…unfaithfulness…career slump…all the fault of cruel fate, or else due to my inherent lack of worth I was powerless to improve. It had nothing to do with the fact that I got so drunk I did a bunch of stupid shit every other night, if not every night. It had nothing to do with the fact my brain was operating at half capacity for over a decade, being either stunted or pickled. It’s only in drawing these out that I am suddenly figuring out “oh THAT’S why that relationship ended. Oh THAT’S why no one at work respected me. Oh THAT’S why my friend stopped talking to me.”
Geesh. The worst part of alcohol is how, while its in your life, you can’t see its dramatic and destructive effect on your life. If you do, you just have another drink to forget what you just figured out. It blows my mind how I was warned against “drugs” my whole entire childhood yet drinking was always billed as nothing but fun and harmless (unless you were driving or watching a Schick Shadel ad).