Be your own parent
After I quit drinking, and being (in my own mind) the toast of the bar, the party, the town, life felt so pointless. I noticed some other old friends weren’t drinking much – one’s who had settled down, often with a kid. They said once they had kids things got fun again, it was like being a kid again, going and doing fun activities. At this point I feel over the whole question if I’m going to have kids or not – I’m not, and I’m not sorry I didn’t have kids – they are wonderful miracles that make life so much more worthwhile and 18+ years of extra chores and anxiety (two of my least favorite things), so it comes out about even in my mind.
That being said, I don’t want miss out on the FUN. Here are some things you can do with or without kids (its probably easier without):
- Give yourself tough love
- Parent your inner child – pep talks, nutrition, self-hugs when you’re sad, self-kisses on boo boos.
- Don’t attempt to be popular, attempt to do what’s best for everyone’s long-term well being
- Take yourself to the zoo, to the water park, to the museum, to the swingset. If people give you weird looks, get an adorable dog and put it in a stroller.
- Play with kids! Kids of all ages. They offer a perspective you just can’t get anywhere else.
- Hang out with old people. Go see your grandparents, your great aunts and uncles. They may not demand to see you like they would if you had a baby, but it’s still important. They are so full of insight and perspective. If you have family, spend some time with them. If you don’t have family, make sure to have some traditions that aren’t necessarily glammo but fill your soul – weekly dinner with a friend, a weekly volunteer shift at the Nursing home, etc.
- Provide an example – maybe your kid isn’t watching, but lots of other people could be, especially if you blog about it. Every time I do something new and neat and wonderful for myself, I’ll get at least one email telling me I’ve inspired a friend (and sometimes a stranger!) to do the same.
- Ask yourself the big questions. Why IS the sky blue? Why DOES that man have no legs? These are kind of questions you have to answer all the time with kids. Allow yourself to be naive and learn new things.
- Indulge in some of the little harmless fun things you would buy for your kid at the store (per their pleas) – bendy straws, kites, yoyos, bubbles, stuffed animals, sparkly magic wands. You deserve a little moment of joy, just like your kid would.
If you start to change your own diaper, though, things have gotten weird.