Many in my AA group like to say their higher power is AA itself, which is a totally legit approach. Today AA answered my prayer, of all things.
On the walk to AA today, I was saying the serenity prayer in my head, freaked about about joblessness and an ant invasion and this suuper painful blister on the bottom of my foot and over-committing socially…well I get to AA and my buddy’s there like he is every week, we’re the only two never-miss-it regulars. Generally I will Secretary and he’ll Chair, sometimes we get one other person joining us, today a dozen people straggled in as we were reading the introduction. My buddy picked this meetings topic based out of this AA book called “Living Sober” that I hadn’t seen before. He let me take a look, I flipped around its pages, its pages fell open to chapter headings that had an answer to every last damn thing I was flipping over in my head on the walk over.
Live and let live, easy does it, remembering your last drunk, watch out for anger and resentments, seeking professional help, being wary of drinking occasions, and the text following was full of helpful advice on these subjects. I was all excited and told him I would order the book. He told me to go ahead and borrow the book this week.
As I said in AA, some of the most amazing stuff about it is that finally I feel needed, I feel useful, there’s a place I can go to talk with a group of people (that isn’t a bar or party), and I learn from everyone else’s wisdom and experience.
Today I had a job hunting experience that was quite humbling. I realized, growing up in America, I never thought humility was a value I wanted anything to do with. I realize now, thanks to AA, its a powerful tool in not being filled with fear and rage, but being okay just waiting and seeing.
Lots of other super helpful things happened today, my sweetie calmed me down and several friends contributed wonderful things to my life today, it’s not just AA. But man, it helps.