Sometimes being in the bottom-line business world breaks my head and heart. Other times it has me hungry for code and processes and a trumped up sense of purpose to rain on my head. Even other times the joy of learning something new, of making something broken work again, of using my brain for creating order and ease, sweeps in and I am thrilled. But today is a meh afternoon, dizzy with my own complicity in what I see as a juggernaut incapable of systemic compassion.
I met with my AA Sponsor after work, and it was really uplifting. AA, in contrast, is a juggernaut entirely capable of systemic compassion, in fact that is what the juggernaut is made of. But, AA is mostly volunteer driven. What it comes down to is, I haven’t found anyone yet who wants to pay me to be compassionate. I’m not sure I can do that on cue, anyhow.