Up and Over!
Dear god…the NEW MEDS ARE WORKING! I don’t hurt, at all. 3 weeks ago I had a constant body ache (that had been with me for months) that made me wonder if I had arthritis, fibromyalgia, or what. It hurt to walk down the street, it hurt to sit, it hurt to sleep. My hips and knees constantly ached and I felt misaligned. Now, nothing hurts! I’ve gone for two runs this week! I hadn’t gone for two runs in a six month period since 2012.
I feel pretty GOOD! I won’t go too far in how good I feel, but I don’t feel nearly so depressed. Let those two whole runs be a testament to that! When I found out I didn’t get the latest job I interviewed for I was bummed (I’ve been unemployed for 6 months, and before that a 4 months of temp jobs, and unemployed for a year before that), but I didn’t feel like a giant foot was stepping on me and pressing me into the ground, crushing the air out of my lungs, the way I usually feed after any bad news – from a shitty brunch to being turned down after an interview.
So yay. I’m on the generic of Cymbalta – Duloextine
. I’m very stoked on it. It seems like a 360 after just 3 weeks on it. I was doing EVERYTHING ELSE I was supposed to do to cure depression, from walks to meditation to therapy to positive thinking to sleep schedule to volunteering to no pot and no Facebook, even limiting my coffee, yet nothing was working, I was feeling quite hysterical about all my efforts for no return on feeling better. Suddenly, boom! The magic bullet I’ve been praying for. Thank you, higher power and modern medicine.
For the record, I was taking Effexor from 2003 to 2013. After feeling suicidal this winter, I went off Effexor in January (with a doctors supervision) and onto Sertaline aka Zoloft. 2 months later, in a drastic bid to get better, I quit a 12-year daily pot habit, and a 5+ year all-day FB habit – and have gotten more and more depressed over the past 4 months, while my anxiety drastically improved. 3 weeks ago I ramped down off Sertraline and started taking the Duloextine (with my nurse practitioner/therapists supervision).