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anger

my anger has been higher this week than it has, on average, over the past many months. I was feeling pretty helpless about it, praying over it, trying to acknowledge it and let it go, but it keeps popping up. Then yesterday I changed my approach in a way that is giving me relief: instead of mentally slapping my hand, “DON’T BE ANGRY” “THAT’S WRONG GET OVER IT” “GOD RELIEVE ME OF THIS ANGER (this very moment)” I have been mindful of it. What is it’s shape, it’s smell, where does it lay – what are the triggers and what is the underlying pain, what are it’s mysteries. Once I acknowledge it, hello anger my old friend, I leave it be to come or go as it pleases. Without struggling against it, my anger now can relax. It’s ok to be angry, it’s ok to have mean or destructive thoughts. What is not OK is acting on those thoughts in a mean and destructive manner. But the thoughts themselves, they can come and go. I stay aware of my thoughts and try to think creatively to balance out those thoughts. “That isn’t entirely true, because…” “But on the other hand…” “But something good that comes from it is…” “Well I can’t know the whole situation. I’m not god.”

I have noticed taking this approach, instead of trying to stuff my anger deep inside where I never have to see it again (until I need it to power some laser beam of fear and frustration), is giving me some relief, and not only am I less enraged but I’m less ashamed, less confined, less afraid, more compassionate of myself and others.

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This entry was posted on May 11, 2016 by in Alcohol Recovery, Anxiety, boundaries, Discovering Tats, Health.
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